Do you know how it feels like to be an “ordinary” mother, without real passion and own interests? I had those feelings. Looking back, I know I created that person with my own thoughts. Today, I want to be another person of mine: A mother who can give their children inspirations and dreams because I have one.
I did not know who I really was
A Sunday several years ago, I was with my family members and my child heading to my parent-in-law’s house. On the way, others wanted to stop to pass by the media library in Brussels. I was very tired, but as usual, I did accept.
On the way back, since my son was toddling, we were left far behind. Others were not happy with us because we did not go quickly enough. I explained: “Look, we did this for you. We agreed to pass by this place because you wanted”.
Someone commented: “But you never know what you want yourself!”. I was shocked. It was true. I never ever expressed any interest in me. I thought it was good to be in harmony with people. I was a kind person. And I would like to give the best to others.
I was wrong to give my kids only care and love.
My days those times were filled with services. I did have an ordinary job that gave me a basic salary. At home, I never said no. At the end of the day, I did not have the energy to read a book, or to do something for me. I had identical days for several years.
I was at certain moments burned out of energy. But what I suffered the most, was that feeling of not knowing who I really was. But…perhaps the worst was, I did not even know that…
How would it feel like to be children of a mother who has identical days for several years and who does not even know that?
That moment passing by the media library, when I realized that I was not myself, changed me forever.
How a more fulfilled mother can inspire children’s happiness
My kids loved me a lot and I loved them more than my life. But today, I can give them more than care and love. I want to give them inspirations and dreams from my own person.
Want to try? That starts with very little things.
- Inspire your children’s happiness with your own interests
How do you feel when you read a book you really love, and you are lost in it? Do you know that in that moment, your smile and your eyes are inspiring? Or when you start painting, and your kids are so excited to join you? Sometimes what you love opens their minds to new possibilities. For example, I did yoga with my kids, and they loved it.
I truly feel different when I have my own interests. And my children feel it in me.
So, give yourself permission (and time) to be you, and do what you love. Also, don’t hesitate to share with them what inspiring thoughts in mind because you think that they will not be interested. Kids can understand and share a lot of things with us more than we think.
- Choose activities to do with them that you can also enjoy
Instead of going to a kids’ activity where you will get bored during hours waiting, why not do something you also enjoy? Yesterday we intended to go out to the trampoline park. After a moment of reflection, I decided that we wouldn’t. I hate waiting hours in the trampoline park doing nothing! I thought, why not doing something I also enjoy? I love swimming and cinema. So we went there. And we had lovely moments together! I felt genuinely great because I loved it, and my kids felt it!
- Be happy, your kids will be inspired
However difficult a moment can be, with a mother who is happy, children will always feel secure. Is it not the best thing to teach them? The capability to be happy in unhappy moments. When you love yourself and are happy, your person will naturally reflect that. Calmness, joy, and fulfillment. Who does not want to be with such a person?
- Believe in them
I used to spend a lot of time paying attention to what my children do. I gave them advice or ensured everything went well. It depends on the age of your kids, but know that they can do much more than we believe they can. (And by the way, same for you and me!). Let them more space. They will feel great being trusted. And you will have more energy for what you love.
- Give them dreams, because you have one
I was bored with my job in a pharmaceutical company. But I stuck to it because I was afraid of uncertainty. I did not dare to do what I love, yoga and meditation, because I thought it would not give me a living.
Many people have other interests than me. But we have one thing in common: the fear of the unknown and the lack of belief in ourselves.
Today I am an entrepreneur and I am proud of it. Not because I have succeeded. But because I know I will. And because I feel great undertake a self-realization.
A fulfilled mother can inspire children’s happiness
If you are inspired by your job, it’s perfect. But if you don’t?
I never feel “ordinary” again. Every day I feel blessed sharing with my children my dreams. They are the most open-minded people in the world. They never told me: “Mom, you can’t do it, it’s very difficult!”. They believe in me as I believe in them. I feel proud because I would like to teach my kids by example, that we can realize our dreams if we really want to.